Attack of the Grandmoms
by cocodogsbark
Summary: Ok... I no this doesn't belong here! Sorry! Before there were people, there was a power so powerful that even till this very day it cannot be defeated. That power stands alone, and it is..GRANDMOMS! In the beginning the Grandmom was sweet, until one day..


**Claimer: I own all of the characters to this story.**

Before there were people, before there were plants, there was a power so great, so powerful, that even till this very day it cannot be defeated. That power stands alone, and it is... GRAND-MOMS!!! In the beginning the Grand-mom was sweet, and baked cookies for her children and smelled of vanilla. Everyone was happy, until one day not so long ago... 

Nicole Blackwood was sitting at the kitchen table reading her favorite book. She had just got to her favorite part when the Great Grand-mom walked in. The Great Grand-mom was a grand-mom to EVERYONE, including you and me. Her name was Melinda. She had the power to control anyone and everyone, because they had to respect their elders, and boy, was she an ELDER!!! But Nicole had been dealing with her the longest and hardest because she lived with her! Melinda sat down across from Nicole.

"Nikki," she said in her sweet old lady voice, "I need a favor from you."

Nicole groaned. She hated being called Nikki.

"What is it, Melinda?"

"Don't use that tone of voice with me, missy. And call me GRANNY, okay?""Okay, Granny."

"I need your opinion on sending someone to a camp where she can become a lady. The girl is a spoiled little brat who won't listen to her parents or me. She runs off with her boyfriend every night to go to some club or party. So what do you think, should she or shouldn't she?"

Nicole was surprised. That sounded a lot like her! She ran off with her boyfriend, Dreadnaught, every night. She didn't obey Melinda or her mom and dad. But Melinda, this sweet old lady, the one who was named the nicest person on earth, and won three SWEET awards, wouldn't do that, would she? Nicole hoped not. "Yeah, I guess so, Granny."

"In that case, Nikki, you're going to Mrs. Sandra Dee's Lady Camp. You'll just love it there!"

Nicole's jaw dropped.

"You're kidding, right?"

"Of course I'm kidding, Nicole. I would NEVER do that to such a sweet and wonderful lady like you," Grandma said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"You're an evil old lady, Melinda," Nicole said, her anger building up inside of her.

"And you're an evil girl who's littler than me."

"Smaller."

"Shut up you wicked girl! Do not correct MY grammar! Now go pack your things, your bus will be here any minute."

Nicole got bags and packed up all of her 'Goth' clothes, all of her 'inappropriate' books, and had just finished when she heard a horn honk. Her bus was here. She walked out the door without saying goodbye. On the bus she saw girls just like her and a bus driver who was wearing, ugh, pink.

Blonde hair, blue eyes, pink dress to the knees, white belt, the whole getup. Even her hair was weird. It had a little pink cap with a white stripe. She smiled creepily, with her white toothpaste-model smile. She reminded Nicole of a Barbie Doll. When they got to the camp she spoke.

"Hi, I'm Dorothy, your tour guide. I know you'll just love it here at Mrs. Sandra Dee's Lady Camp!" said the bus driver in her perky little voice.

"Yeah right lady. Just shut up and let us off of the bus."

Suddenly two guys in white shirts, jeans, and a creepy smile like Dorothy's came up and grabbed Nicole's arms.

"What the...?'

"No, no little girl. We don't tolerate that type of language here at Mrs. Sandra Dee's Lady Camp."

Nicole almost puked. 'If she says that name one more time...". They got of the bus and walked up the road to the camp. When they finally opened the gates Nicole saw pink. Pink counselors, all like Dorothy and the men. Pink cabins, pink... well, you get the point.

Nicole was ahem 'escorted' to her pink cabin. When she opened the hideous pink door... AH!!! MORE pink! Pink bedspreads, pink rugs, pink pillows, even pink fuzzy lamps! Can we say 'ew' yet?

Nicole started to attack the pink bed. She threw the covers to the ground. Halleluiah! The sheets were blue. Nicole shoved the horrible pink bedspread in her pink closet. She had just started to unpack her bag when there was a knock at the door. "Who is it?"

"It's Michelle, your roommate. Can I come in?"

"It's your cabin too. Come in."

A girl about 13, Nicole's age, walked in the door. Slender, black hair and brown eyes with a light skin tone. "Hi, I'm Michelle. How'd you get stuck in this pink nightmare?"

"The Great-Grand-mom got me."

Michelle's eyes widened. "THE Great-Grand-mom?!?" she asked in horror.

Nicole nodded slowly. "Yea, she's lives in my house. Well, my old house anyway. This is my new home. How great," Nicole said sarcastically.

She moved to the pink bookshelf, reading out the titles. "How to Be a Lady? Men, Boys, and How to Please Them? What is this crud?" Nicole flipped through one of them. "How lame. Whoever wrote these needs to get a life."

Michelle read a paragraph over Nicole's shoulder. "Yea."

Suddenly song played over a loud speaker. "I love to be a lady, a lady I am. I love to be a lady, a lady am I." Over and over and over.

Screams were heard throughout the camp. "Shut that crud off! Turn it off!" Nicole screamed over everyone else. She ran outside and unplugged the loud speaker. She sighed. "Thank you. Geez."

Suddenly a loud foghorn came out of nowhere. "EVERYONE OUT OF THEIR CABINS! OUT! GET OUT!"

Everybody ran out like their cabins were on fire.

"GET IN A STRAIGHT LINE _**LADIES**_. MOVE IT! LET'S GO!!!"

A big women (not fat, big-boned) walked out. She looked like she was about to kill someone. "You hooligans are going to become properly pink ladies by the time I'm done with you," she smirked, " my name is Dulce and I am gonna make you girls as tip-top as Dorothy is. So you better listen up!"


End file.
